about me and my blog

i am a mom. 3 kids. a wife. former lawyer. former production assistant for two tv shows. i am a volunteer at my kids’ school. a fundraiser. i am a beach girl and i love to dance. i love wigs. and writing. i am an instructor at soulcycle in new york city. mind, body, cardio. it’s the words the women chose for their business. a place i found 5 years ago just as it opened and was finding its footing. full-body indoor cycling. we use one pound weights. we decide how strong we are. we are accountable for our pace. our intervals. it is a way of life and i am living it. i have a chronic form of lymphoma – follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma. one of 80 types i am told. hundreds of thousands diagnosed in this country each year. environmental causes or triggers. i’m not the scientist or the doctor. i haven’t focused on those numbers. i’ve been learning to live. and the wild and amazing thing is that i am doing it better than ever.

i meditate 20 minutes twice a day, i am making healthier choices with my diet, listening to my doctor, i am still teaching my classes at soulcycle. not on the bike, the bike i love and am so free and comfortable on, where i can move my body to the rhythm of music. but on the floor. moving around. checking form. offering encouragement. reminders. choosing the playlists song by song. i am a better teacher now and i can still move my body to the rhythm, to the music. and music is good medicine.

i believe if you put it out there it will come back to you. and if you have something to say, say it. and don’t expect perfection in yourself or your lovers, friends, siblings, co-workers, strangers. i have done it wrong plenty of times. dominated don’t lists. made mistakes along the way. bad choices. but life is a journey. and each of those steps got me to where i am. and i am happy. i am going to be the person i would want my kids to be. i am going to forgive because then i am also free and nobody’s perfect and we can’t spend our lives asking why did that happen to me or why did i do that. struggling to understand causes and motivations. we can’t spend our lives anticipating, guessing and then being attached to that imagined idea. we have one life to live. just know how you want to be and be it. it really is that simple. can’t change the past – no mystery there. can’t control the future – still no mystery. only now. just choose each step. don’t resist. fear. avoid.undermine.

if you resist it, the wave will knock you down every time. but if you go with it, relax into it – the size of the wave you can maneuver is unimaginable. immense.
soulcycle is a metaphor for life. i used to believe it. now i know it.
meditation is profound rest. a reliever of stress. a way to clarity and awareness. because of it, i am doing my life better. i know it.
i can make choices that will decrease the risk of cancer. simple choices. klean kanteen. no more diet soda. moderation. i know how.
i am now. the journey

i started this blog to update people on my treatment when i found out i had to start the chemotherapy. R-CHOP is the cocktail. i have never felt better in my life. i have been so touched by the kind words and thoughts and stories people are sharing with me. about the blog. what it meant to them. my kids read it. their friends read it. my husband reads it. riders at soulcycle. cancer patients and advocates for lymphoma research. its wild because in the writing of updates, i found a voice. i love to write. it helps me think clearly. i wrote this ABOUT on a day i had chemo. i have been awake since 6 am and it is almost 1:30am.

as soon as i get to it i want to add some PAGES – i think that is what they are called. until i started writing this May 15th i had never really read a blog and am essentially blog illiterate. but i am learning as i go. and wordpress is making it easy.
i want to add a section for SIGNS: a place where people can share their stories of signs they have noticed. i make lists of them every day lately. and people tell me and email me and i think they are worth hearing about.
i want to have a section where i can link you to things i am OBSESSED with. not in the bad way obsessed. but in the i am so loving it way.
i want to have links to foundations and groups that are making this world a better place, with not so much cancer, and not so much excess.

“iam” is the latin for “now”. the journey is what i’ve been calling it since i was diagnosed. i tattooed it on the inside of my finger. soulcycle is a way of life and i’m living it.
i am now the journey.



17 thoughts on “about me and my blog

  1. Every. Word. Perfect.

    Posted by Lisa Leshne | June 18, 2011, 3:59 am
    • it was 1am. I didn’t know what that About page was all about. and then i wrote it one time. today I will go back and read it. thanks for your three words.

      Posted by iamnowthejourney | June 18, 2011, 6:08 am
    • Amazing. i found you from MORE mag. tore out the page. threw it on the couch. grabbed my laptop. read one paragraph and couldn’t find a place fast enough to write you a note.

      my younger sis – 2 years after being hit by a car (When she was 36 weeks pregnatn), suffering a severe traumatic brain injury, and enduring coma and coming back from it all – was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer. she has fully lived, shocked her doctors (Sloan Kettering) and gives us all strength from hers. How. because she’s amazing. she does pilates. she eats like i wish i could. she’s faithful when you’d think she couldn’t be. we did part of a triathlon together and when she an run again, we’ll do a whole one.

      she’s the inspiration for me every day in my founding GOTRIbal. an international Tribe of women who come together to share their journeys in endurance sports. their challenges. where they embrace the suck and come back to serve someone else with how they can too. in israel. washington. paris. singapore. and new jersey. even new jersey.

      I am a Melanie-Fan for life.
      i hope you can be part of the GOTRIbal journey so that other women and girls can get a bit o shoog from you and be happier for it.
      onward and upward, always.
      tanya maslach

      Posted by Tanya Maslach | November 19, 2011, 10:08 pm
      • i also found Melanie in More magazine, and tore the page out…as we have a lot in common. I am a chief hr officer for a large company, a ,mother of 2, a triathlete, and been living with chronic leukemia for over 6 years now. Love to hear these survivor stories !

        Posted by Jill Smart | April 16, 2012, 11:14 am
  2. Lovely lady, lovely.

    Posted by Aylen | June 22, 2011, 10:30 pm
  3. Lovely lady. Lovely.

    Posted by Aylen | June 22, 2011, 10:30 pm
  4. Hey Melanie…it’s Peter form UWS spin!
    You inspire me!!!

    Posted by Peter | June 30, 2011, 10:52 am
    • Melanie:

      It’s Mark Y from Soul Cycle Tribeca. When I started doing your 7:30 am Wednesday class spring, I was new to New York and my family had not come out yet. Your warmth and energy were contagious. I was so intimidated until I started doing your class. I keep tabs on you when I work with Kym each week and think of you so often. You are indeed inspiring

      Posted by Mark Yacano | July 16, 2011, 12:39 pm
  5. Melanie,
    Your class last night (7:30 in Union Square) was extraordinary! Your energy, your light, captivating. Soulful. Post information about your charity. It was nice chatting with you. Fondly, Eileen

    Posted by Eileen H. Libutti | July 6, 2011, 11:50 pm
  6. Hi Melanie-found you in the Dec/Jan 2011 issue of More Magazine. I, too, was diagnosed with follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma in August of 2008 at the age of 55. Had six R-CHOP’s then 2 years of maintenance with Rixtuxin. I took up Zumba in Jan of 2010 and fell in love. Had been in an office job for 35 years and did a little aerobic stuff in the 80’s but did not stick with it. I love my doc and with my excellent care and my addiction to Zumba, I feel great! I’ve always said that my illness is just a “bump in the road” as I watch so many others suffer horrible cancer’s. Keep up your positive attitude–blessings to you. Claudia Show, Indiana

    Posted by Claudia Show | November 19, 2011, 3:43 pm
  7. i could not believe it was you when i saw your pic in more mag. i had to come read your blog. you are still very beautiful but look different to me. i just started a blog of my own for i different reason. i am just a regular person living outside of savannah ga. i also am going on my own journey. i am diabetic 11 years now and have gained about 170 lbs from the insulin. was up to 6 shots a day in my stomach.. now on dec 6th 2011 i am having surgery . bypass stomach surgery. maybe will no longer need insulin are least be able to control it better. been in a wheechair 2 yrs. can walk a little but not much. i hope to lose back down to 135 – 140 lbs. and regain the use of my legs. i am imspired by you and your beauty. will try to use some of your methods like meditation and some kind of exercise, in time. anyway i am to now the journey. good luck to you. i hope i can change my life also, and feel good again.

    Posted by Carole Johnson Wilson | November 19, 2011, 11:50 pm
  8. Melanie, I too live with lymphoma…it has been 18 years since I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, but emotionally live with him EVERY DAY! While I consider Hodgkin’s my “emotional stalker”, I do not regret anything he has brought into my life. I LOVE your blog, and am encouraged by your strength. My favorite line, “I am going to be the person I want my kids to be”, is the most selfless reflection of ourselves as mothers, friends, lovers, and mentors imaginable! Keep fighting the good fight!
    -Jenevieve Fisher, R.T. (R)(T)

    Posted by Jenevieve Fisher | November 22, 2011, 5:59 pm
  9. Hi. I have gained 100 pounds over the last two years, and I am just at a loss as to why I can’t take it off. I used to be fit and teach step aerobics. Your story really inspires me. Thank you! My best friend is dying of cancer, and for some reason after reading your blog I feel strongly that this is my chance to get back in shape. Very inspiring. Thank you.

    Posted by Cary | December 7, 2011, 1:47 pm
  10. Hi Melanie. I enjoyed reading your feature in the December/January of More Magazine. Very inspiring.

    Posted by anandaleeke | December 12, 2011, 2:00 pm
  11. I saw your article in the magazine “More”. I, too, have chronic follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma (bone marrow). It has been 4 years, September 17 that I was diangosed with doing chemo and rituxin. Guess what, that is what I do is spin at my gym, Michael’s Bodyscene in Boca Raton, FL, with a great bunch of people and instructors. When I go to the Hamptons to visit my sister, I spin at Soul Cycle and Flywheel. Spinning keeps me sane, and gives me inner strength and power. I look for my life to be simple with working at a law firm with a great boss. I have a wonderful man in my life who stood by me, and goes to all the doctor appointments as well as my sister who has been my rock. When I was on chemo, the doctors took my spin away for two weeks – that felt a part of me had died. But, right back on the bike, and I spin any where from 5-7 classes a week plus a personal trainer. Thanks for your blog and your courage and your hope and SPIN.

    Posted by Vicki Lavetan | December 13, 2011, 10:23 pm
  12. thank you, melanie, for your inspiring words.
    found out about you from More magazine.
    i’m so curious: what kind of meditation do you practice?
    i am looking for the right fit for me, committed to getting a regular solid practice going!
    thank you so much.
    Ann Carter
    Minneapolis MN

    Posted by Ann | December 17, 2011, 11:50 am
  13. Greetings! Thanks for putting yourself out there, I too found you via More Magazine. Wishing you huge success. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer too,it’s been a journey and I gave up my corporate job to take care of me and get healthy …it’s working and much of it due to Chinese herbs vs medicines, exercise daily & good nourishment in thoughts as well as food. Mid life crisis took on a new meaning. All the best!

    Posted by Spaqueen | January 18, 2012, 8:48 am

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